A New Fact of Life for Goku
by Purple-Pleb
Summary: My spin on what the events were like when Chi- Chi was pregnant with Gohan. Chapter 3 up! R&R please!
1. Revelation

**Hello. My first DBZ fic. I just thought right, Goku thought marriage was food, so this is my interpretation of what could have happened when he learned Chi-Chi was pregnant with Gohan. Criticism is welcome =)**

**Enjoy**

* * *

Chi-Chi sat on the edge of the bathtub, twiddling her fingers and wincing; the anticipation was unnerving. Her eyes were fixed upon the object on the sink. It was the longest 30 seconds of her life. Breathing slowly, she stood up and picked the white stick up, with her eyes closed. With the sound of the imaginary drum roll that was ringing in her mind, she opened her eyes. The plus sign was clear as day.

"Oh my God!" she gasped. Unable to contain herself, she smiled and started to well up. _I'm going to be a mum! _she exclaimed in her mind. She covered her mouth to stop herself from it crying it out loud, she didn't neighbours complaining again over her 'shrill, callous voice that even made their goldfish cover his ears". "Goldfish don't even have ears", was her only defence. Still, that was literally one of the last things she could think about. All she thought about was the coming nine months, she'll become a mother, be taking care of a child of her own with her beloved husband. A blank look suddenly appeared on her face and she paused, at the thought of her husband. Coincidentally enough, her husband, Goku, had returned from his morning meditation.

"I'm home!" he called form the front door. Chi- Chi jumped, and stared to panic insanely. She looked at the pregnancy test, and quickly shoved it into a nearby trashcan.

"Chi- Chi? Where are you?"

"I'm coming dear!" she called from the bathroom. She quickly dashed out of the bathroom, making quick glances back at the trashcan nervously.

"Bah!"

In one of these glances, she hadn't noticed she was about to bump into her husband who had been walking through the corridor looking for her. She found herself accidentally colliding into him, and being set aback when she saw him. She gasped, and tried to say something, but stuttered instead. Goku raised his eyebrows.

"Uh, are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine, just-I'm fine," Chi- Chi, nodding her head a little unconvincingly as Goku blinked. A sudden inspiration came to her.

"Hey! I need to make you breakfast!"

Food. One of his greatest love and a great topic shifter. It worked, as his eyes lit up and all suspicions were erased.

"Alright then!"

"Good, I'll get to it then." She uneasily traipsed away towards the kitchen. She leaned on the counter, and took a deep sigh of relief, and then giggled excitedly.

*

Goku sat in the living room, laughing at something stupid on the television. Chi- Chi watched him from the door. It seemed difficult, to tell Goku that she was pregnant. Did he even know what it meant? After all, he thought marriage was food. She shook her head and decided it was crunch time, time to deliver the news. She defiantly walked towards the couch and sat by Goku. She took the remote and switched the television off. Goku gaped and then turned to Chi- Chi, looking as if he hadn't realized she was there.

"Oh, hey."

"Hi. Goku, there's something we need to talk about."

"Okay, what?"

Chi- Chi groaned a little. An opportunity had arrived but the validity was non- exisant. She hoped and hoped that he did understand what pregnancy was.

"Goku… we are going to have… a baby," she casually said. She tilted her head, and smiled warmly at him. To her dismay, he drew a blank. But then, he smiled too.

"Cool!"

Chi- Chi beamed happily.

"Really? You're fine with this?"

"Totally, it would be awesome, having a kid around here. So, when does it get here?"

"Huh? Well, nine months I guess."

"What! It takes that long?"

"Well it needs to grow you know."

"That long? Where's it growing anyway?"

A bead of seat ran down Chi- Chi's temple.

"In my womb. Goku do you know where babies come from?"

Goku bit his lip and his eyes moved around as if he were calculating something. In reality, he didn't know. Chi- Chi brought her hands to her face then gently squeezed Goku's shoulder.

"Don't worry. Come on, lets go to the library. Maybe they'll have some facts of life books or something."

A confused Goku nodded and they both stood up and headed towards the door. Chi- Chi rolled her eyes. _A grown man reading a facts of life book, should be awkward at all_, she thought. She chuckled and then lay her head on Goku's shoulder.

"This isn't getting off to a good start, but I'm really happy."


	2. Cravings

"What the-!" Goku gasped.

Goku was shocked. Even more shocked than when he heard he was going to be a father. The table had a lot of food prepared like usual, but nearly a quarter of it was already eaten.

"Wow Chi- Chi, you must be really hungry."

"I have to eat for two now Goku, " Chi Chi explained, pointing at her stomach.

"Jeez, I never thought the little guy would eat so much! Well I guess that means I have to only eat for seven."

Goku pulled out a seat and ravished the food before him. Chi Chi sighed, then joined him.

"Damn cravings.." she muttered.


	3. Ultrasound

**Okay, sorry about the last chapter being so short. I haven't been on this site for ages, so I thought I'll write a little chapter to ease in. This chapter is longer, hope you like it! **

* * *

It was a mildly sunny day. Goku and Chi- Chi were at the hospital, in a white room where Chi- Chi was sat on large comfy chair while Goku was sat on a measly stool beside her.

"So, what are we doing here again?" Goku asked, while staring confusedly at a poster that read in bright yellow letters, "Chlamydia- have you been checked?" with a picture of a woman nervously biting her nails. _I bet she has chlamydia, whatever that is_, he thought to himself.

"It's an ultrasound scan. They're going to show us what the baby looks like from inside." Chi- Chi. Lately, she thought she had been teaching him about everything. _I've got to make sure our child has the best education_.

Just then, the door handle squeaked and a man in a white coat, messy hair and holiding a clipboard walked in, looking dreadfully bored.

"Ugh, alright I'm Dr. Wenn. I'll be carrying out the ultra...", Dr. Wenn paused to yawn, "...sound."

He groaned and pulled out a wheely chair, dragging a table with a TV on it with him.

"Great, are we watching TV?" Goku asked happily. Dr. Wenn didn't answer, but raised his eyebrow at him.

"Okay, I'm going to put this gel on your stomach now," Dr Wenn squeezed a tube and a smooth blue gel on Chi Chi's baby bump. It glistened, and looked a little like jelly, making Goku feel hungry, but he knew he shouldnt ask about eating after the failure of his earlier query. Chi- Chi gasped as the blue gel was squirted onto her skin.

"Oh, that feels cold!"

"Get over it," Dr Wenn scoffed.

Chi- Chi gaped offended. Dr. Wenn then brought out a small machine, projecting light, spreading the gel around. He pointed at the TV screen.

"There is your baby," he stated unenthusiastically. This differed from Chi- Chi's reaction, who was already nearly reduced to tears.

"Oh my, it's so beautiful!" she cried. Goku looked at her bemused. He wondered if he was looking at the same thing: a black screen with waving lines. Chi- Chi simply awed at the image.

"There's the feet." Dr Wenn said.

"Aw!" Chi- Chi exclaimed.

"There's an arm."

"Aw!"

"There's the tail..."

"Oh," Chi- Chi was stunned into silence. She and Goku looked at each other worriedly, and then at Dr. Wenn who didn't seem to notice. A few seconds later, his eyes widened.

"Wait... WHAT!?" Dr. Wenn yelled. He frantically moved the light around, staring deeply into the screen, sweating consistently. He looked almost excited.

"IT HAS A FREAKING TAIL!?"

Even Goku noticed the tail waving about. He smiled a little and felt proud. His first fatherly instinct.

"What's the big deal, I had one too," he informed the manic doctor. Dr. Wenn dropped the light in shock.

"What kind of family is this?!" he yelled again. He got up, and walked towards Goku, clasping his hands, his eyes twitching.

"You've got let me examine you both!" he pleaded.

"What?" Chi- Chi questioned.

"Please! I've been dragged down by this stupid job for years! You may think it's amazing, it's not I tell you! But now, this! Your mutant baby could win me a Nobel Prize!" Dr. Wenn panted with joy, his eyes gleaming with excitement. Chi- Chi gritted her teeth angrily.

"Hey! You you can't just call my baby a mutant you scruffy b-"

"Wait a minute," Dr. Wenn interrupted the raging Chi- Chi, "I'm going to get some guys on this, wait right here!" Dr. Wenn rushed out, bellowing that he's going to be rich. Chi- Chi turned to Goku.

"What do we do now?" she demanded, "I'm not having some creeps probing us!"

Goku started to think, then had an idea.

"Don't worry, I'll get us out of here!" Goku ran towards the window, shouting, "NIMBUUUUUUUS!"

A golden cloud appeared swiftly at the window. Goku leapt out the window, landing on the cloud. He gestured his hands towards Chi- Chi.

"Come on Chi- Chi!"

Chi- Chi looked doubtfully at the window.

"They're in that room!" Dr. Wenn's voice called from outside.

"Ah! Okay!" Chi- Chi nervously gave in. She jumped off the chair and made her way to the window. She then looked back at the TV. That was evidence of the tail, so she grabbed it and tossed it out the window. They were three floors from the ground, so it crashed and broke into pieces. Goku laughed, then picked her up and placed her on the cloud, and they both zoomed away from the hospital.

"That was close!" Chi Chi sighed with relief.

"Yeah, doctors are crazy!" Goku chuckled.

"I can't believe there's a tail! What is this tail thing about?" Chi- Chi asked persistently.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm some kind of alien."

"That's ridiculous, our baby is not half alien... There's a tail...," Chi- Chi looked down at the moving ground disappointedly.

"Hey, cheer up! I haven't got mine any more, so the baby's will be gone too."

"Yeah, I guess. Can we just change the subject, I don't want to think about it right now."

"Okay. Say, I've got a question that's not about the baby."

"Yes honey?"

"What is chlamydia?"

Chi- Chi stuttered, not knowing what to say.

"This is not my day."

The cloud flew the odd couple away towards the bright sun. They were blissfully unaware that Goku and their unborn child were indeed aliens, but they'd find that out years later and experience the chaotic events after.


End file.
